August 9th 2014
So after a few days of introspection, post a Reiki attunement, where I’ve been super emotional and sensitive, like going through puberty all over again, I decided I would step out into the world and socialise on a kayaking tour in Vang Vieng.
All sounds wonderful and as I’m in the tuk tuk/songtaew with the wind in my hair and viewing the greenery I too thought it was a dream. After a few self high fives for venturing out I began to meet and greet these strangers and adventure allies. At this point I’m blessing my shields, embracing spirit and thankful for my new awakening, believing the day will go off without a glitch.
Now we all know that Vang Vieng is notorious for it’s tubing and rapid rivers which leads to the highest deaths of foreigners then most, if not all other touristy areas. (* side note: a 12year old girl died here just last Tuesday.) So here I am paddling along killing it when the two Italians flip over and are carried down stream. Now at this point I’m am blessing great spirit herself that I was not with those guys. Well thanks, guess again.
We head to caving in the pitch dark, with little torches on our heads and mind you totally unprepared Rachel is wearing a dress and sandals. Naturally everyone else is slipping and sliding all over the place but no I seem to be the only one stuck in the mud. I was so stuck that it ended up ripping the bottom sole of my sandal right off. Not a chance at all, see ya sandal sole, adios, ciao, ce lest vie… gone. Upon reflection I would much prefer my position to the others and these two Italians just can’t get a grip. They then proceeded to fall arse over tit at the most random times. Plain dry grass, slip. On logs, slip. Rocks, slip. Going to sit for lunch, slip. Getting into kayak, slip. Purchasing a beer, slip.
I used my mouldy roll, that was for human lunch, to feed the ducklings and other avian folk and by golly miss Molly, who would’ve thought that roosters could be such cocks 😉 . Now it’s finally time for serious kayaking, this the point where the guide asks if I can lead the group down the river. Remember this is a river that I have NEVER been on before. I know I can be confident but I really have no idea, thankfully they picked up my response and decided to do as they were paid for.
He then proceeds to tell me that I am taking the Italian guy as it is his first time EVER in a kayak and EVER in amongst a rapidy river. GREAT!! Now I’m not talking a small Italian, this guy appears to have consumed Mario, Luigi and Bowser at once. Now he’s at the front sitting right on the left edge. This already is a remedy for disaster. How we did not tip then and there I still don’t know. So picture this, here I am in the rear of the kayak yelling commands to a dude that speaks no English, didn’t respond in Spanish and obviously my Italian extends to the only need of ordering pizza and gelato.
It became quite obvious that he did not enjoy being the bitch in the situation, as he asserted his need for control and given right as the patriarch which I laid back and let him have for a few minutes. Within this time he had spun us around, hit debris and was now leading us upstream. And yes we did hit the bank a few times along with tress, branches you name it. At one point I was covered in leaves and bugs. Not a few bugs I mean a shit load. Timone and Pumba would’ve had a field day.
Needless to say the day was an adventure that left me gritting my teeth, shaking my head and laughing hysterically to myself. Basically at the end of the day, if you don’t know how to paddle, never been on a river with rapids and flat out don’t like taking orders from women then don’t participate and stay at home. Thanks spiritquest for teaching me the virtue of patience, tolerance and a downright appreciation that my mother did not raise me as a PIF. That’s all from me on my spiritquest for today.